“Before coming to Pathways, I was doing well in my life in terms of marriage and work, but life was taking it’s toll on me in a way that was making me old before my time. All of my disappointments in life seemed to be really hard to get over – like not being able to have children and having my company sold and then dissolved. Basically, I was stuck in suffering through losses and unable to really get out from under a cloud of grief. I also tended to be nervous in groups and uneasy in social situations – which made having new friends difficult. Being that we didn’t have children, we had a real need for family and community that was like a big hole in our life. The hardest issue was that if I was around people that were angry for any reason, it caused me to pull away. This caused problems personally and professionally, as it made me only comfortable with really calm, “nice” people. Last, but not least, my marriage had always been a bit of a partial commitment, that I was never sure really fit me well – and I was more distant from my husband than I openly recognized.
A friend from work suggested Pathways as something I’d enjoy – even if I already knew most of it. Since it was put out as something that I’d like doing – it seemed easy to go ahead and sign up. My Basic Course gave me a chance to really move through some of the losses that had happened and let them go for good. It also showed me that there was a big gap in how I felt about my marriage compared to what I was saying openly to my husband. By finally taking a honest look at the fears and concerns that were between us, we became much closer and could begin to really build the relationship we both wanted.
Since going to Basic several years ago, I’ve been able to create a life that is much more fulfilling and has a lot more fun in each day. I have more friends than I would have ever thought would be possible for someone like me who hates to make new friends. My career has flourished since I’ve gained the confidence to deal with a wide variety of people and can accept myself and others much more easily. “My marriage has been the greatest gift from Basic, because our home is now a place of complete commitment and a loving relationship with more closeness than we ever had before. Since my husband has also gone to Basic, he has also built the skills to show how he much he cares on a daily basis and we steer away from creating needless conflicts that were really a way used to relieve stress.” I have lost my doubts about why I married my husband and now know – it’s because we create the home together we both want to enjoy for as long as life allows.”